Netflix is My Valentine: 10 Movies to Watch if You’re Single on V-Day

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Single and hating it.

For some people, being single and loving it is pretty easy on 364 days of the year, but once mid-Feb rolls around and it starts raining rose petals and chocolates and everything is stained pink, purple, and red, you want to just sucker punch everything that moves.

Romance.

Psh!

So what do you do? Turn to Netflix, obviously. Engage in those guilty pleasures. The action, the horror, the kung fu, and the comedies without any bit of romance whatsoever. You might be keen on raging with the rest of your single friends on this wildly rare Friday Valentine’s Day, but in the off chance you are not – and the off chance that binge-watching House of Cards season 2 is NOT at the top of your priorities – then grab your popcorn, Reese’s hearts that you demolish out of sheer spite, and clutch that remote tight enough to wield your way into Netflix. Watch one or more of these movies that have absolutely nothing to do with romance or love and absolutely everything to do with having a good time:

Robin Hood (1973)

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You know the story: Robin Hood steals from the rich and gives to the poor under the harsh reign of Prince John. Only this time Disney transforms all of the characters into anthropomorphized animals. And guess what? The hero is a fox! Which just so happens to be my favorite animal…

The animation is a bit dated and the story a bit hokey, but this is a heartwarming story in any variation. Take it from 4-year-old Corey who would tell you that this is the best movie ever. My childhood favorite is still very dear to my heart. Maybe it’ll brighten up your Valentine’s Day?

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Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2013)

This documentary about the world’s greatest sushi bar – located in a Tokyo subway station – is absolutely mesmerizing. It’s a wonderfully in-depth and colorful story about a man’s dedication to his craft and the legacy he tries to pass on to his sons. His craft is rooted in focus and routine that produce quality cuisine; it shows in the several month-long wait list. The cinematography and editing in Jiro Dreams of Sushi are superbly done, making this film easily one of the best documentary’s I’ve ever seen. It probably helps that I absolutely love sushi, but whether or not you enjoy raw fish and rice, this is still a wonderful movie that you should check out.

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The Emperor’s New Groove (2000)

Riffing in bizarre fashion on the classic fable “The Emperor’s New Clothes” by Hans Christian Andersen – or perhaps just employing a tangential pun – Disney’s The Emperor’s New Groove stars David Spade as the voice actor for an vain and materialistic South American emperor who gets turned into…a llama! Seriously, though, who doesn’t just love llamas? What silly, silly creatures. John Goodman voices the prince’s one loyal friend. The two team up to try and undo the spell, a journey that inevitably teaches the haughty prince – and the rest of us – a lesson in humility. Funny, fun, and light-hearted.

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Tommy Boy (1995)

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Chris Farley at his best with a rather tame David Spade as his counterpoint. Mid ’90s slapstick comedy to a tea. Tommy (Farley) is a party boy who must go on a bit of a (mis)adventure in order to save his family’s company after his father dies. Tommy must go on a road trip with his father’s ass-kissing assistant Richard to sell enough break pads to convince the bank to give them a loan. The best part? The scene with the deer. If you haven’t seen this movie, watch it. If you have? Rewatch this clip and laugh hysterically with me.

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Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

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Take it from Eddie: “Everything’s gonna be A-Okay!”

Eddie Murphy plays a wise-ass cop from Detriot, Axel Foley, whose friend gets murdered while he’s in Beverly Hills. Conveniently enough, he’s in trouble with his boss back home so he takes some vacation time to try and solve the case on his own time. What he discovers is something far more complex than he ever could have realized. Murphy’s high pitched squeals and wiry antics make this movie one that deserved several sequels. His character thrives on being an unorthodox, comedic police officer who teases as often as he interrogates and laughs more often than he shoots. Axel Foley is probably the most likable cop to come out of the ’80s.

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Skyfall (2012)

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Skyfall is Daniel Craig’s third vault into the role of Bond, James Bond. Though this violent, aging sex-addict does enjoy lots of romantic escapades, this particular Bond movie is light on the love and heavy on the hardships. While certainly not the best 007 movie out there – or even the best Craig-Bond movie – Skyfall offers up a thrilling adventure that has a bit more maturity than you might expect.

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King’s Speech (2010)

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Taken from the Wikipedia listing: “At the 83rd Academy Awards, The King’s Speech won the Academy Award for Best Picture, Best Director (Hooper), Best Actor (Firth), and Best Original Screenplay (Seidler). The film had received 12 Oscar nominations, more than any other film in that year.” You might remember that 2010 was one of the best years for cinema in a long time. Just take a look at the nominations for Best Picture: Inception. The Social Network. Toy Story 3. There were SO many great movies. And what won? King’s Speech.

I could drop the mic right then and there and march off this stage, but I would be doing you a disservice. King’s Speech is a delicately and precisely executed period piece centered on King George VI as he grapples with the responsibilities thrust upon him while trying to cope with a stammer. He enlists the help of speech therapist Lionel Logue and eventually overcomes adversity and rises to the occasion on the cusp of World War II. Mind you the story starts in 1925 when speech therapy was a largely unknown practice. Just to slap some perspective on that, I’ll tell you that Lionel Logue’s theory that cigarette’s are bad for you is considered outlandish at the time. But hey, I’ve already talked too much. If you haven’t seen it yet, watch this film for the triumph that is this man’s life. A feel good, empowering flick if I’ve ever seen one.

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Cabin in the Woods (2012)

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I’ve talked about Cabin in the Woods time and time again. I went into it blind for the first time on a random recommendation, knowing nothing more than the fact that Joss Whedon (of Avengers and Firefly fame) produced and it was a new director at the helm. I suggest that you take this movie at face value: if you enjoy intelligent, satirical horror that’s funny, witty, and thrilling, then click on the title above and watch it right now.

If you prefer to know a bit more, then in this delightful bit of meta-horror, a group of friends go out to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of partying and sex. But behind the scenes is lurking a deep, mythic conspiracy that threatens their lives. That is where I leave it, my friends.

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The One (2001)

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I double dare you to ask me how many Jet Li’s there are in this movie.

Sci-Fi. Kung Fu. Time Travel (ish). Parallel Dimensions. This movie has it all. Jet Li stars as both victim and criminal in this movie running off the premise that there are many different versions of each person in alternate realities. As each one dies, their “power” gets distributed to the remaining versions. A criminal Jet Li steals the technology that allows him to travel between worlds and kills off a myriad of Jet Li’s so that he can be the all-powerful…One! Thankfully, Jason Statham’s less than adequate interdimensional police skills are aided by the last surviving Jet Li who just so happens to be a skilled yet kindhearted cop. While the good guy Jet Li does have a romance in his life, this movie is more than top heavy in its crazy pseudoscience and over-the-top, super-powered fight sequences. A ton of fun for any action fan.

The Avengers (2012)

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The Avengers shattered box office records when it came out in 2012. The culmination of years of planning by Marvel Studios, harnessing the diverse powers of several superhero films, this smash hit featured an all-star cast in a supershow blowout. I gushed about it soon after its release and its some of the best that Netflix has to offer. With Joss Whedon at the helm, production was a delicate balance of several driving forces. There’s no doubt that Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor were the bread, butter, and backbone of the movie, with each of them toting at least one movie under their belts. The presence of the newly recast Mark Ruffalo as the Incredible Hulk was a welcome addition. Hawkeye, Nick Fury, and the Black Widow round out the cast nicely with the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Spearheaded by Thor’s brother, Loki, hordes of aliens hope to invade Earth. The whole fiasco culminates in an epically destructive battle in New York City (where the frak else would it be?), one that shapes the characters and universe, and most importantly, kicked off Marvel Phase 2. This movie is a necessary precursor to the recently released Thor: The Dark World and the soon to be released Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

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